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- A man and his wife gave his mother-in-law a spare key to their house for emergencies
- But emergencies turned into daily drop-ins
- People on Reddit advised the man to set firm boundaries with his mother-in-law
Mother-in-law relationships can be tricky to navigate. One man is experiencing this as he tries to set boundaries with his mother-in-law after his wife gave her their spare key.
In a Reddit post, the man explained that his mother-in-law was given the key “for emergencies,” which he thought was “reasonable.”
“Then the ’emergencies’ started being things like dropping off soup on a Tuesday at 8 AM, or watering plants we already watered, or ‘just checking if you were home,'” he explained.
While he noted that his mother-in-law is “not a bad person,” the unexpected visits are a bit much.
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“She brings food, folds laundry if she sees it, and plays with our kid. But she also walks in without texting, comments on our mess, and once moved our bedroom hamper to ‘a better spot.’ I was in a towel,” the man shared.
So, the man asked his wife if they could ask for the key back and instead install a lock box, only sharing the code with his mother-in-law “when needed.”
His wife told him he was overreacting, explaining that her mother was only trying to help, and that taking the key back would hurt her feelings.
Stock image of a woman arguing with a couple.
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“I do not want a fight, but I keep picturing her walking in while we are asleep, or arguing, or just wanting a quiet morning. I like my mother-in-law, I do not like feeling like a guest in my own house,” the man wrote. “Am I overreacting for wanting the key back, and a text before anyone comes in?”
People in the comments assured the man that he wasn’t overreacting and that his mother-in-law should be able to accept the boundaries that they set for her.
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“No, you are not overreacting. Tell your wife that if MIL can’t accept clear boundaries you both agree on, the key needs to be returned. This is not normal behavior for anyone who doesn’t share your household,” one person wrote.
Another person advised on how to handle the situation.
“If you leave your key in the lock on the inside, or put a bolt or chain across the door from the inside, MIL won’t be able to get inside without someone letting her in. In which case, you can act surprised and say, ‘Oh, we weren’t expecting you to visit today, you should have texted.’ Let her feel like she’s imposing, she needs to realize that her little girl has grown up and has a married life of her own,” the person wrote.
