NEED TO KNOW
- A woman was gearing up to celebrate her friend’s 33rd birthday
- Usually, she and her friends treat the birthday person to dinner and drinks
- This time, however, she was shocked by her friend’s apparent wishlist, which included a pricey perfume
As we move through adulthood, the way we celebrate birthdays has inevitably changed. Gone are the days of themed parties and carefully curated gift lists.
Now, more often than not, they are replaced by casual dinners, drinks and thoughtful gestures.
But what happens when a friend in her 30s still wants gifts – and not just any gifts, but a specific wishlist of high-end items?
Stock image of woman holding a birthday gift.
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A Reddit user facing that dilemma recently took to the platform to share insight about her friend’s upcoming 33rd birthday.
“We went to Sephora the other day and she mentioned she wanted to smell perfumes so people can know what to get her for her birthday,” she explained in a post.
While the birthday girl clearly enjoys fragrances, the poster questioned whether it’s appropriate to make such specific — and expensive — requests as an adult.
“Idk, something about having a wishlist at this age for people to buy doesn’t sit right with me,” she admitted.
Their group of friends usually celebrates in a low-key, modest way. “We’ll pick up each other’s tab, give gift cards but nothing too crazy,” the user revealed.
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So when her friend floated the idea of receiving perfumes priced between $150 and $250, it created an internal conflict.
Some might argue that wishlists take the guesswork out of gifting and ensure the recipient gets something they truly want. But for the Reddit poster, it feels more transactional than thoughtful.
The poster noted that, had it been “my decision, like oh I think she’ll like this perfume, let me gift this for her birthday,” she would have done it happily since it was driven by inspiration, rather than obligation.
Stock image of woman holding perfume.
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The real struggle, however, seems to be less about money and more about expectations. “I may be a bad friend :/ but at the same time… I just feel like I’m past the age for birthday or Christmas requests outside of my husband,” she emphasized.
In hopes of helping the original poster with her dilemma, a few commenters suggested various solutions, with one writing, “Chipping in as a group is a solid move but if that’s not doable, a $25-$50 Sephora gift card is also great solo option.”
Another commenter put it plainly, reminding everyone that love for a friend doesn’t always match what is doable financially.
“I adore my best friend, but I can’t afford to give her a gift more than about $30,” they wrote. “If I was going to buy her a perfume it would probably be a sample size at most.”
