NEED TO KNOW
- A 54-year-old lawyer was caught off guard when his late friend’s daughter reached out years later, asking for help with college tuition
- The man respectfully declined, citing the fact that he has three children of his own to care for, but his wife believed he was too harsh
- Now, he’s left torn with whether he made the right decision or if his wife was right all along
A man turned to the Reddit community for advice following an emotional encounter with the daughter of a late friend who asked him for help paying for college.
The man shared that his late friend had been “a good guy” and a former classmate, though they weren’t especially close. “I helped him out and once did a case for him completely free since I’m a lawyer,” he wrote, adding that the case “went on for about two years but we won it.”
Stock photo of a woman speaking with a man.
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He recalled that his friend “wasn’t the most financially stable guy,” which was why he refused payment at the time. Seven years after his friend’s passing, the man said he was surprised when the friend’s now 17-year-old daughter reached out to him on Facebook.
“I didn’t know who she was, and so she introduced herself and said that she was my old friend’s daughter,” he shared. The young woman told him she wanted to thank him because “she never forgot about how I helped her late dad one time with his case.”
At first, the conversation seemed innocent. “I told her it was fine and there was no need to thank me,” he said. But he soon noticed that she “kept asking about life and stuff,” which he found “weird.”
Eventually, the teenager revealed why she had reached out. “She finally asked if I could help her out with college,” the man wrote, explaining that she told him her mother couldn’t afford to contribute.
He said he turned her down, citing his own family obligations. “I told her I was sorry but I can’t do that as I’m currently putting three of my kids through college right now, two of them being medical schools,” he explained. “I can’t afford yet another one and I told her that honestly she’s a stranger to me and that I’m not a charity.”
According to the man, the girl seemed to take the rejection gracefully. “She said she understood and thanked me again for helping her dad and she never messaged me again,” he said. Still, the conversation lingered in his mind.
When he later told his wife about what happened, she thought he had been too cold. “She said I went too hard on the poor little girl and that she was probably so scared and stressed and she told me I should apologize to her,” he recounted. That reaction left him wondering if he owed the girl an apology after all.
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Reddit commenters largely sided with him, saying the request was inappropriate. One person wrote, “I don’t think it was mean to tell her that she’s basically a stranger. It was a highly inappropriate ask and she should learn why it is inappropriate so she doesn’t do it again.”
Stock photo of a man being scolded by a woman.
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Another agreed, calling the girl’s approach “absurd behavior.” They added, “If she feels foolish or hurt as a result, so be it. She’ll live. NTA.”
Others echoed the same sentiment, stressing that he wasn’t obligated to help financially. “Who cares if you’re paying for three or one or even none,” one commenter said. “You have zero obligation to pay for her college. She never should have asked. She put you in an awkward position by asking.”
