NEED TO KNOW
- A woman says her husband wants her to drop a longtime friend based on her insensitive reaction to their pregnancy news
- She explained that the friend acted irritated and rude instead of happy for them after hearing the happy news, despite the fact that the parents-to-be struggled with fertility
- The woman shared her story on a community forum, where she sparked a passionate discussion
A mom-to-be says her husband thinks she should stop speaking to a longtime friend based on how she reacted to their pregnancy news, and she’s unsure what to do.
The woman shared her story on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet, a place where women go to seek advice about interpersonal issues. In her post, the 39-year-old shared that she has a friend whom she has known since her “mid 20s.”
Despite their long friendship, she said that the friend had recently begun making passive-aggressive comments about her life.
“I got married last year [and was met with] lots of comments about my engagement ring and new marital home being over-the-top […], which I let go,” the woman said, adding that the friend is “keen to settle down” with her longtime partner but isn’t married.
The woman went on to share that she recently found out she was pregnant after struggling with fertility.
Pregnant woman (stock image).
Getty
“[I had] two miscarriages this year and a referral for IVF. I somehow by a miracle fell pregnant this summer,” she said, adding that the pregnancy means she will likely miss another good friend’s wedding in Italy this coming summer.
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The expecting mother said that when her longtime friend — who knows about her fertility issues — heard she was pregnant, she rolled her eyes and “mentioned how my timing and planning was poor for the pregnancy due to the upcoming nuptials.”
“She even messaged to check if ‘I had told [the bride] yet’ several times, [telling me that] the bride will be disappointed in me,” she continued.
Wedding (stock image).
Getty
The woman said that both her husband and sisters think she should end the friendship with this person immediately.
“I have never actually seen my husband so angry, and my sister looked like she was going to cry when I told her [how my friend reacted],” she said.
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“Any advice on how to approach this? Am I feeling more upset by this with my pregnancy hormones?” the woman asked at the end of her post.
She also noted that she has since told the bride-to-be about her pregnancy news, and the other woman was “delighted” for her and completely understood.
The vast majority of commenters said they thought the woman should seriously consider removing the supposed friend from her life.
“She is not your friend. Anyone who is that jealous and competitive does not have your best interests at heart. It’s sad that she’s not where she wants to be in life, but that should be an entirely separate situation,” said one person.
They added, “If she isn’t happy for you after what you’ve been through and is more interested in stirring up drama […], that tells you everything you need to know.”
“This is so simple,” another person wrote, addind, “Either block her and cut her off, or tell her how disappointed and hurt you are by her constant put downs — and then block her and cut her off. She sounds awful and jealous.”
Another person suggested that the woman approach the decision methodically.
“Write up a balance sheet of how your friend makes you feel,” they said, adding, “If she is only adding negative emotions — confusion, sadness, shock — and these emotions are more than positivity — happiness, appreciation, support — then fade her out of your life.”
