NEED TO KNOW
- A bride demoted her pregnant best friend from her bridesmaid role, sparking emotional fallout
- “Honestly, it really hurt me. I ended up crying for a while,” the expectant mother, who will be eight months pregnant at the time of the wedding, wrote on Reddit
- The bride doesn’t want her friend to have to worry about wedding duties, and offered her an honorary bridesmaid role in which she can still participate in the festivities without responsibilities
An expectant mother was heartbroken after her best friend revoked her bridesmaid role over her pregnancy.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I Overreacting Forum,” the 11-week-pregnant woman, 25, asked users on the platform if she’s overreacting for being “upset” that the bride, 19, dropped her from her wedding party because she’s “scared” she can’t handle the duties and has decided to treat her like she’s “fragile because she’s never been around someone pregnant.”
“She informed me that she didn’t want me to have to stand next to the altar or have to get a dress at eight months pregnant, and so I was no longer a bridesmaid,” the woman wrote.
She added, “Honestly, it really hurt me. I ended up crying for a while in my room after.”
Crying pregnant woman (stock photo).
Getty Stock Images
The woman’s “good friend,” who is engaged to her brother-in-law, told her that she is “still wanted” and offered her an “honorary bridesmaid” role, which would allow her to “still go to all the things” without “any of the responsibility.” However, the ex-bridesmaid is still devastated because being a bridesmaid is an honor she holds “very highly.”
“It really hurts. I don’t know if I want to help with wedding things or go to bridal party things anymore. I started resenting being pregnant (still love my baby tho) because of the sickness, the unsolicited advice I constantly get, and now people assuming I can’t do things because I’m pregnant,” she said, noting that she originally wasn’t invited to go dress shopping because everyone in the bridal party assumed she’d “be too sick to go” due to her first trimester “morning sickness and exhaustion.”
She clarified in a comment, “I’m trying not to introduce drama, it just hurts that they’re assuming things this early.”
The woman considers the bride to be her best friend, and “would have picked her as [her] maid of honor” had she known her when she tied the knot, so it’s hard for her to move past the idea of only being an “honorary bridesmaid,” which she questions is even a real thing.
“I was really looking forward to being a bridesmaid for my best friend,” she said. “Now I don’t know what to do. A part of me wants to push the topic and tell her I want to be a bridesmaid, but it’s her wedding and I don’t want to be one of those monster bridesmaids you hear stories about. I’m pretty stuck.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Sad pregnant woman (stock photo).
Getty Stock Images
The woman’s husband told her she “should just drop helping with things and not go to things anymore.” Meanwhile, Redditors commented that the ex-bridesmaid should “give some grace” to the young bride, who sounds like she’s “looking out” for her, and didn’t mean to intentionally hurt her. Most people suggested that she accept the honorary bridesmaid role.
“I think this sounds like a great compromise and she’s looking out for you … When the wedding comes, you will be full blown pregnant and may not be physically capable of participating in some of the activities,” the top comment reads. “I think the bride is being very cautious and thoughtful. Unfortunately, timing sucks sometimes but we roll with it and make the best of things. It’s not your day it’s hers, let her enjoy it. Last thing you should be doing is introducing drama to the whole situation. What do you really think you’ll gain?”
Another Reddit user agreed, writing, “The reality is you don’t know what the rest of your pregnancy will be like, and you could very well be on bed rest or giving birth at the time of the wedding. Your friend doesn’t want to have to rely on someone who might be MIA — she’d rather plan with more certainty. She’s absolving you of responsibility, but still honoring your friendship. Do you really want to be in charge of planning a bachelorette when you’re trying to make a birth plan and put together a nursery? Just support your friend, be the honorary bridesmaid, and go to the events you feel up to.”
